The Second Great Act of Mediocrity: The Taming of the Beast

It has been several months since we presented to you The First Act. As is inevitable for the elders of the church, the second has gone untold despite our commitments. Here, we present the second of the Seven Great Acts of Mediocrity: The Taming of the Beast.

 

Despite the vague awareness a slowly growing number of citizens now had of Him, He, The Mehssiah, in All His Adequacy, remained humble. The first act was a tale told far and wide across the region within a three mile radius of the Holy Tree. And so when He, The Mehssiah, in All his Adequacy, first set foot in a new town, within a fortnight almost three people had uttered the words, “Hey, aren’t you that guy who helped those weirdos with their fruit superstition?” to which He replied, “Well, I wouldn’t call them weirdos, but yeah, sure, close enough.”

The almost three people spread word of His presence around the town until a meeting was called and a consensus was reached. The mayor spoke for the whole town, and told Him, The Mehssiah, in All His Adequacy, “Alright, if those fruity nutjobs over in that town are worthy of help, us normal people damn well are too!”

And so the Mehssiah sat and listened to the troubles of the town, and once every man, woman, and child had spoken, He said, “Okay, so I’m not really experienced in most of these things but I guess I can try to talk some sense into your chicken, Mrs. Baker.”

The Mehssiah was led to a backyard with a small chicken coop. One bird in particular looked very cruel. The bird stared at Him. It was Edgar, the Chicken, in All His Animosity, and He, the Mehssiah, in All His Adequacy, stared back. For several minutes this lasted, until eventually Edgar realised intimidation would not work on this man. Edgar strode forth, and was accepted into the Mehssiah’s embrace. And then, the Mehssiah left, but Edgar followed. The wicked streak of violence in Edgar had miraculously been replaced with an infallible loyalty to the Mehssiah that left Mrs. Baker with one less chicken, but with a little more peace in both her heart and her backyard.

And so whenever the townsfolk spoke of Him, The Mehssiah, in All His Adequacy, they spoke that He actually really only addressed one of their many issues. But that one issue was quite a significant chicken problem, and though it was not the desired outcome, the townsfolk always remembered that it was Close Enough.

 

Thank you for reading the second of the great acts. The third shall come eventually. At this point, we will not even bother giving a rough estimate of when. Keep on the lookout for updates and new scripture, and until then, may your life be Close Enough to how you wish it to be.

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Author: Laurence Nix

A lot of the time it's just gonna be good old funny weirdo junk. Peace.

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