So I was at the duck pond by my secret laboratory recently… and something seemed strange about the ducks…
I was looking for a neutral signal to recalibrate one of my time-whack readers, and I thought “What’s more neutral than a duck?” However, the signal was anything but neutral. One duck in particular was emitting a very strange and distinctly unducklike pattern. I detected a high peak, then a long empty bout of mid-level noise, and then another peak, over and over.
I of course decided to plot the peaks, and it seemed somewhat random. After a lengthy period of observation, I realised it was approximately repeating a pattern with a little bit of variance to obscure it – perhaps enough to slip under any passive automated scan, but fairly rudimentary for any active observer to decipher. Measuring each interval to the nearest 3 seconds, and then normalising them to a 1 to 26 scale, it spelled out a simple message:
F L O M B E R R E I S W I T H Y O U
My assumption is this is from that strange gentleman who time-flopped me out, and that his name can only be Professor Flomberre. I’m not sure whether to be reassured or afraid. On the one hand, he saved me from being trapped in quarantine for months… but on the other hand, he knows a worryingly large number of things about me, including the location of my secret laboratory, where he did something strange to a duck…
The next day, I examined all the ducks one by one with my newly calibrated time-whack reader. All followed perfectly normal ducklike patterns. Flomberre either trusted me to pick up the pattern on the first day I arrived, or he’s got close enough surveillance to know for sure. I suppose the second option is most likely, but I cannot imagine what he might want. If he wanted the skull, I’m sure it wouldn’t have popped back out of the time shaft into my hand…
I will update you again once I have had time to run detailed analysis of the skull.
Until next time,
– Barnabus K. Pompadour
P.S. – Flomberre, if you’re reading this – Thanks for the help, but… do you have to be so weird about it? Just come visit or something like a normal person